I don't think it has a lot to do with him wanting her back at all but more to do with the fact that he is afraid of another bad relationship. He has come a long way and in time who knows..is a great person and I am in no rush, I am not 100% ready either. All he can say is he loves me and he is sorry that he is afraid to commit again. @Shells: I know you posted this 3 years ago but I am really interested in knowing how have you been doing. I was with a man for 10 months and stood by him while he went through his divorce.It is still awkward after loosing my husband, maybe thats why he and I are comfortable together, we are both way too slow for most others..Maybe we will just stay close friends, we really enjoy each others company, and love each others kids although I have to say carving pumpkins with the 7 kids, was funny....could have been a reality show! I think if things are meant to be they will fall into place eventually and if not, there is just a different plan for you. I just ended my 9 month relationship with this man who is going thru a nasty divorce. And he realized after going to court yesterday he had all these emotions. So i decided to let him go I can't stop crying because he was the best thing ever happened to me but i know he is far ready to commit to me. So im going to go to a therapist and never again do i want to get involved with someone who is going thru this. I just went through some thing like you said in your post, almost exactly the same. Yesterday out of no where he tells me he doesn't see our relationship going anywhere and he needs space to heal. @Margie: I dated my guy about 7 months (on and off), the break up was very sudden.Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!Dear Sara, We all make judgments based on our own experience.All you can do is trust your gut and don’t second guess yourself every step of the way. I met someone almost a year ago, he had just filed for divorce because his wife of 10 years had been cheating for at least 2 years, he gave her chances but she refused to give up the other relationship. For a few months we hardly spoke, I thought that was it, but we ran into each other one night and after that spent almost every day together, just hanging out and having fun both with and without the kids.
They have given many examples of relationships that began quickly after a separation/break-up, so I am beginning to wonder if I am selling myself short – being too rigid.He has still invited me over and comes around, but it just seems different, he is being much more distant, I think it scared him and I want to give him whatever space he needs but at the same time don't want him to disappear completely.He says he wants to hang out, but it just doesn't seem the same. Yeah, I am going through the pain of what can happen.But, most likely, because he’s still emotionally reeling from the death of his relationship. It’s not that he didn’t care about her; it’s that he wasn’t ready for another commitment so soon after declaring his bachelorhood….I wrote about this extensively here, in a post called “When Do You Begin Dating Again After a Long-Term Relationship or Marriage? And you’re certainly not ready to love with reckless abandon. So, Sara, like most situations that stymie my readers, the answer isn’t as obvious as “dump him” or “go for it.” It depends on the man, the nature of his divorce, his emotional availability, and his ability to get in touch with himself.I think you are both right and I have been keeping my distance.We started getting close before and he needed space for a while this time he was a little more ready, now he needs time again. @Pochacco, I just dealt with the same issue yesterday and feel like my life has been turned upside down.As a dating coach/expert, what do you think of the idea of dating someone who is still in the process of divorce?Do you advise your clients to take the date or run as quick as possible?We got past that and things were still good, one night he stopped in with a friend, we went out and had a few drinks, that night we ended the night with a very little peck of a kiss.The next day he kept say "friends" this and that, several times.